How to Stop Being Indecisive and Start Leading with Confidence
“The risk of a wrong decision is preferable to the terror of indecision.” ~ Maimonides
Being indecisive can feel like a never-ending tug-of-war in your mind. Whether it’s deciding what to eat for dinner or making a career change, the constant cycle of overthinking and second-guessing can leave you feeling drained and stuck.
You may think it’s harmless to argue with yourself for 30 minutes about whether to get out of bed, but these moments add up, reinforcing worry and self-doubt as default responses. Living in this state leaves you with the worst of all worlds…now you’re late and you didn’t even get to enjoy the lie-in (seriously, either get up or enjoy the extra half hour of sleep)! It robs you of energy and clarity. Let’s explore how you can break free from indecision and start leading with confidence.
What Causes Indecisiveness?
To learn how to make better decisions, it’s important to understand what keeps you stuck. Sometimes it’s the sheer overwhelm resulting from too many choices (seriously, how many types of peanut butter do we need?!). This kind of analysis paralysis can sap your mental energy and make even simple decisions feel insurmountable.
Indecision often comes up when you face two or more options:
Both of which are unappealing, so you try to avoid an unpalatable outcome,
Or are fairly equal, making it hard to discern which one is preferable.
More often than not, indecision is a safety mechanism driven by fear: the fear of making the 'wrong' choice. This fear often stems from the desire to avoid mistakes, criticism, or disappointing others. However, the shame that accompanies indecision is pernicious and counterproductive; the shame spiral has never, ever helped me make a confident decision.
How to Stop Being Indecisive
1. Start with Self-Compassion
Decision-making can be tough. Acknowledge that and give yourself a break. Choose to believe that you’re doing your best. One of the reasons indecision feels so toxic is that it makes us feel bad about ourselves, which only makes it harder to think clearly.
Start by doing something nice for yourself – whether that’s making a cup of tea or taking a deep breath. Reflect on this: "What’s one small way I can reduce the pressure I’m putting on myself right now?"
And remember: having choices, even hard ones, is a privilege. Gratitude for what you have can ease the pressure and help you approach decisions with more clarity.
2. Simplify and Take Small Actions
You cannot think your way out of indecision. In fact, overthinking is probably what got you into this mess in the first place. Taking action is one of the best ways to get the clarity you’re searching for – remember, we tend to regret the things we don’t do, rather than the things we actually do.
Don’t become indecisive about how to overcome your indecision! Trial and error are your friends. Experiment with making quick choices and notice how it feels. This builds trust in yourself and your ability to handle whatever comes next.
making decisions is something we can get better at, it just takes practice. Get used to making little decisions and noticing how it feels when you know what you want. Start to build your confidence and your trust in yourself. Start with low-stakes decisions:
Decide what to wear tomorrow.
Decide what to have for dinner tonight.
Decide what temperature you like your bath.
Stick to these choices. Simplify repetitive decisions wherever you can – for example, meal prep or create a capsule wardrobe. This frees up mental energy for bigger decisions in a world where we are inundated with choices every day. Steve Jobs famously only wore black turtlenecks for daily convenience, a choice that freed up his mental energy for more significant decisions. By simplifying routine tasks, he reduced decision fatigue, which is the mental drain caused by too many choices. This approach reminds us that creating intentional habits around small, repetitive decisions can leave us with greater clarity and energy for tackling the bigger, more meaningful choices in our lives. So, find the things that work for you and save your energy for the decisions that really require your attention.
3. Align Decisions with Your Values
Decisions become easier when you’re clear on what matters most to you. Take time to identify your core values and let them guide you. Ask yourself:
"How does this decision align with the kind of life I want to create?"
Remember the 40/70 rule, a decision-making principle from Colin Powell: make decisions when you have between 40% and 70% of the information you need. Less than 40%, and you’re guessing. More than 70%, and you risk paralysis by analysis.
Not sure what your core values are? Download my free guide to Uncovering Your Values.
4. Commit Fully to Your Choices
Derek Sivers says it best: "If it’s not a HELL YES, it’s a no."
When faced with a decision, ask yourself if it really excites you. For example, when deciding whether to take on a new project or commitment, consider whether it feels like a resounding 'yes' or if there's a sneaky 'should' lurking under the surface. This clarity can save you time and energy, helping you focus on what truly matters.
Once you’ve made a decision, go all in. Don’t dwell on whether it was the 'right' choice. Instead, focus on making the decision work. Even when things don’t go as planned, every choice is a chance to learn and grow.
Trust yourself to handle the outcome. Let the excitement of who you’re becoming outweigh the fear of making a mistake. And if you’re ever truly stuck, remember that even flipping a coin can help – sometimes, the act of choosing is all you need to get unstuck.
Ready to Build Confidence in Your Decisions?
If indecision is holding you back, let’s work together to build your confidence and clarity. Book a Resource session with me today and take the first step toward making decisions with ease and intention. These single sessions are perfect for bringing embodied awareness and agency to an immediate dilemma or decision.