Is Coaching Compatible with Self-Acceptance?
"The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are." ~ Carl Jung
How do I reconcile my deep belief in self-acceptance whilst also working as an embodiment coach?
Let me explain.
It starts with that self-acceptance.
You are not broken. You do not need fixing. You are inherently whole and enough as you are right now.
This doesn't mean life is perfect or that you don't face challenges. Even when I cultivate a deep sense of acceptance and enoughness in myself, life can still be hard.
It also means you'll have coping strategies and patterns of being that sometimes serve you well and other times less so. These strategies will have helped you navigate family dynamics, achieve success, and move through the world. They are adaptive responses; if one hadn't worked, at least for a while in some way, you would have found another one.
The problem is, especially for recovering perfectionists and overachievers, we get too good at them. We excel at them, sometimes at the expense of other ways of being. This is where coaching can come in.
My Approach to Coaching
As a coach, my role isn't to fix you or solve all your problems.
My job is to be on your side. For recovering perfectionists, who often underestimate and neglect their own progress, I serve as a massive cheerleader. I'm here to remind you of your achievements and growth.
At the same time, I'm not afraid to lovingly and firmly call you out when needed. I help you see challenges from new perspectives, not to create a problem-free life (that's not realistic), but to empower you with more choices and tools to navigate life's complexities.
Embodied coaching helps you reconnect with the intuitive wisdom within your body to find new perspectives, step out of old patterns, and make empowered choices.
To put it simply, embodied coaching is less about thinking your way through a problem and more about feeling your way through. It’s a ‘bottom-up’ approach rather than a ‘top-down’ way of dealing with challenges.
It allows you to access your body’s natural intelligence and get a new perspective when your particular way of doing smart has hit a wall and you’re stuck in old patterns of thinking and behaviour.
Sometimes this involves offering specific tools, exercises, or approaches. A lot of the time, it simply looks like me listening and being curious about your experience.
It's important to note that coaching is different from therapy. While both can be valuable, therapy tends to be more past-oriented, addressing root causes of patterns and wounds. Coaching, on the other hand, meets you where you are and focuses on moving forward.
As a coach, I provide a non-judgmental space where you can reflect and tap into your own wisdom. Unlike friends or family who may have their own agendas, I have no investment in whether you choose option A or B. My role is to help you connect more deeply with your own inner knowing.
I love self-development and understanding myself better. There's nothing wrong with our soul's inherent desire to grow, expand, and learn new things. What I object to is the commercialisation of self-improvement that sells us the story that we need to be flawless to be happy or enlightened.
To be human is to be messy and imperfect. My personal goal, and what I aim to support in my clients, is to have more choices in how we respond to life. It's about developing new tools and skills, not because we're fundamentally lacking, but because we want to expand our capacity to engage with life.
The bottom line is that you are not a problem to be fixed. You're a complex, beautiful human being with inherent worth. I hope this encourages you to be more discerning about your self-development journey and to embrace yourself as you are, even as you grow and change.
Ready to Unlock Your Authentic Self?
If you're inspired to explore this approach to personal growth and self-acceptance, you might consider these next steps:
Order My New Book: As You Are (Self-Improvement Not Required) is available now. This book is a compassionate yet no-nonsense guide for anyone wanting to be more of themselves in a world obsessed with self-optimisation.
Book a Discovery Call: Curious about what working together might look like? I invite you to book a free discovery call with me. We'll explore your current challenges, discuss your goals, and see if my coaching approach aligns with your needs. It's a no-pressure conversation to help you make an informed decision about your next steps.
Remember, you are enough as you are. Let's explore how you can thrive from that foundation of self-acceptance.