Finding Grace in Uncertain Times
"The oak fought the wind and was broken, the willow bent when it must and survived." ~ Robert Jordan
Have you ever felt like life is just... weird? Not necessarily bad or good, but just off-kilter? If so, you're not alone. I've been experiencing this lately, and I wanted to share my thoughts with you. Maybe you'll find some comfort in knowing that others are going through similar phases.
I spent July and August feeling a bit out of sorts. It doesn't help that living in the tropics always throws me off. Is it summer? Is it winter? The lines blur, but one thing's for sure – there's been a distinct 'in-between' feeling in the air.
The Illusion of Inactivity
Work has been quiet. I'm finally learning that's typical for this time of year for me, although even after 7 years of being self-employed, I still always get in a panic that I'm never going to get another client again. That's felt particularly paradoxical this year as it's the height of tourist season in Bali. The contrast is striking – a sense of personal stillness amidst the bustling energy of visitors exploring the island.
It's funny how my mind plays tricks on me. I have had this nagging feeling that I've not been doing anything significant. But when I step back and look at the facts, I remember that, oh yeah, I published my second book – something that wasn't even on my radar in early July! It's a reminder that progress doesn't always feel like progress when I'm in the thick of it.
The Collective Funk
I've been talking to friends and colleagues, and it seems I'm not the only one feeling this way. There's a shared sense of... funkiness. Has Mercury been in retrograde again? Not that I really believe in such things but I'm sure someone will tell me it's a planetary alignment or eclipse season or something.
Something in me feels frustrated that I can't pinpoint the exact cause – maybe it's seasonal, maybe it's hormonal, or maybe it's just one of those inexplicable periods of life. Funkiness always feels harder to me if I can't make sense of it.
Embracing the Uncertainty
But it's not all doom and gloom. In fact, I'm quite proud of how I'm holding this feeling without judgment (fine, without as much judgement as usual). I'm not berating myself for feeling off or trying to forcibly 'snap out of it'. Instead, I'm allowing myself to be in this funky state, trusting (or at least hoping) that this too shall pass.
As the equinox has just come and gone, I'm reminded that change is constant. I'm back in the UK for a while, which I'm hoping will serve as a reset button of sorts. The change of environment, stepping out of my routine, and embracing a different rhythm might be exactly what I need. Or maybe not – and that's okay too.
You're Not Alone
If you're also experiencing a funk without an obvious source, I want you to know you're not alone.
There's an odd comfort in knowing that others are going through similar experiences. It reminds me that I'm not broken – this is simply how life ebbs and flows sometimes. This might just be a phase that will move on when it's ready.
So, how can we approach these periods with more grace? Is it possible to find enjoyment even in the discomfort? It feels like a stretch for me right now, but I'm open to the possibility. At the very least, can we show ourselves some compassion during these times?
While acknowledging our shared "suffering" doesn't fix anything, it does bring a sense of relief. It's a reminder that these funky phases are part of the human experience, not a personal failing. If you're in this boat too, I encourage you to reach out, even it's just to let me know I'm not alone. Send me an email or post on the comments.
I hope you can find moments of peace and self-compassion. Remember, this too shall pass. Until then, be gentle with yourself.
Thank you for being here.