From Impulse to Insight: Mastering Mindful Decision-Making

"The key to making great decisions is not in knowing what to do; it’s in taking the time to figure out what to do."
~ Karen Salmansohn

Today, I'm reflecting on a topic that's been occupying my thoughts lately: the art of slowing down when it comes to making decisions. It was something I started thinking about as I celebrated my 9th anniversary of leaving the Royal Air Force and everything I've learnt and experienced over that time.

Me as a 23-year old RAF Officer…

Over the past nine years, I've navigated a series of significant choices, some of which were made in the heat of the moment, driven by raw emotion. While these decisions have propelled me on incredible journeys, I've come to realise the immense value in taking a moment, letting the feelings settle, and truly understanding what drives our choices.

The Haste of Impulsive Choices

Looking back, my decision to leave the Air Force was monumental. Although I had contemplated it for a couple of years, the actual moment of departure was sudden, driven by intense emotions and a desire to escape discomfort.

And this started a pattern of making quick decisions about my life, my work and my relationships.

Don't get me wrong; I don't regret any of these choices. They have ushered me into extraordinary experiences and opportunities. However, upon closer examination, I've come to realise that a good proportion of these decisions were made because I couldn't tolerate the discomfort I was feeling.

One prominent example that stands out is when I left my full-time job at the beginning of 2017. With hindsight, I can acknowledge that I might have served my future self better by taking more time to prepare financially and build a stronger network. I don't want to try and second-guess what route my life would have taken had I done things differently but I think I would have given myself more options had I slowed down and not acted in the heat of some very strong emotions.

The Contrast of Mindful Decision-Making

Now, fast forward to the present, where my husband and I have been discussing the possibility of leaving our current home in Bali and potentially relocating to Australia. At times, there's been a growing pressure to make a hasty decision, fuelled by feelings of dissatisfaction and the urge to escape moments of discomfort. What's different this time is my commitment to slow down the decision-making process.

We've chosen to stay in Bali for at least another year, allowing room for something new to emerge. Instead of rushing to eliminate discomfort, I'm opting to sit with my feelings, delve deeper into them, and embrace curiosity. What's driving these emotions? Is it possible to make smaller, incremental changes rather than diving headfirst into the unknown? This shift towards mindfulness in decision-making has been both refreshing and enlightening.

The Practice of Slowing Down

Let me clarify; I'm not advocating for shaming or condemning quick decisions. There are situations where swift action is necessary.

However, I've personally found immense value in having the option to slow down a decision, allowing me to fully engage with the emotions surrounding it, rather than merely reacting to those emotions. This practice has revealed itself as a valuable tool in my journey to become more deliberate and present in my choices.

What I'm discovering is that having the ability to pause, to let the emotion breathe, gives me a broader spectrum of choices in the world. It's a practice, a conscious effort to refrain from acting immediately to avoid discomfort. I can think of plenty of times where my instinct was to leap into action, to escape my own feelings.

Slowing down and not jumping into action is an ongoing practice, one that aligns with my personal mission to attend to myself with more grace. Slowing down isn't an inherently superior approach, but it offers more choice, and that's something I deeply appreciate.

I’ve learnt many things over the past 9 years but the ability to slow down decisions so I can be with the deeper and more subtle layers of my own experience is a big one.

I believe all decision-making is inherently emotional and I’m learning there’s a big difference between an emotion-fuelled decision and an emotionally-informed one.

Here’s to slowing down ✨