From Perfectionism to Mastery: Why You Don’t Need to Be A Perfectionist To Be Excellent
"Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. It’s a shield. It’s a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from flight." ~ Brené Brown
Is it perfectionism? Or is it mastery and excellence?
Have you ever told yourself that perfectionism is the key to mastering your craft and achieving excellence? Recently, a dear friend of mine sent me an email that contained a thought-provoking message, designed to rile me up.
The message read, "Everyone is a perfectionist when they care enough. If you're not obsessed with it, you'll never Master it, because you won't care enough to be a perfectionist."
So Is perfectionism really the key to excellence?
In one word, no.
The notion of conflating perfectionism with the pursuit of mastery is fundamentally flawed to me.
The Pitfalls of Perfectionism
To me, this idea misunderstands perfectionism and the pursuit of mastery or, as one of my mentors aptly puts it, "inhabiting excellence." In my view, these two concepts are not synonymous. While they may look like they share some traits, I have only ever experienced perfectionism to be rigid, punishing and self-brutalising. And that way of being, for me, hinders true learning and growth.
Perfectionism often carries a heavy burden. We obsess over details, berate ourselves for the slightest mistake, and sometimes even give up prematurely when the pursuit of perfection becomes too painful.
Perfectionism is that harsh inner critic that emerges whenever I make a mistake. It's the reason I often abandon projects prematurely, unable to endure the pain of falling short of my own impossibly high standards. This, however, does not reflect the depth of my care or passion for something.
That is not the path to mastery or excellence.
Embracing Excellence
Perfectionism, as I've experienced it, is suffocating and demanding. It prevents me from embracing the process of learning because I'm too busy beating myself up over every mistake. Mastery, on the other hand, is about embracing excellence in the moment, regardless of the outcome.
I recently listened to a podcast from Mosaic Voices that struck a chord with me - perfection implies completion, and in that completion, there's an absence of vitality and creativity. Something perfect lacks the vibrancy that exists within the process of creation. It's dead. I can be masterful in my approach by being deeply present in my actions. It's about being alive and wonderfully imperfect in the journey, rather than seeking the lifeless state of perfection.
True mastery lies in being present, messy, and in progress. It's about inhabiting oneself fully and engaging with a task wholeheartedly, without fixating solely on the outcome. Excellence, in my eyes, is not about perfection; it's about embracing life in all its vibrant, imperfect glory.
Dispelling the Myth
Let go of the idea that mastery requires perfectionism, obsession, or sacrificing your own well-being. It's a falsehood I once believed - that to achieve something great, I must first beat myself into submission.
You can hold both the desire for excellence and the joy of being present and messy in your pursuit. I want to challenge you to discover that sweet spot where you can be fully alive, deeply engaged, and unafraid of imperfection. It's a place where you care about your craft and, equally importantly, about yourself.
Embrace the process, relish the journey, and revel in the beauty of imperfection. It is here, in these imperfect moments, that we find true mastery.
I'm curious how this resonates with you. Have you encountered moments that shifted your perspective on perfectionism and excellence? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Acknowledgements
My gratitude to my friend, Gabe DeRita, who sparked this rant. His keen understanding of my journey and the perfect buttons to press showed me, once again, what a friend he is. Gabe, you are a true gem.