Why Just Being Yourself Isn't Always Enough

"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got." ~ Henry Ford

Who are you in your business?

As a solopreneur, chances are you wear a lot of different hats in your work but have you ever stopped to think about how a different "hat" might actually help you challenge your habitual ways of being?

This isn't a new idea for me but it came into sharp relief recently courtesy of my business mentor, George Kao. In his Authentic Outreach course, George was encouraging us to become the Admissions Director of our businesses - someone who both encourages people to apply and is actively seeking new people to join AND is also discerning about who those people are.

I liked the idea when he explained it but I didn't really give it much more thought until someone reached out asking about my coaching and requesting changes to my usual offering.

Ordinarily, I tend to feel obligated to say yes to people. It's not so much people-pleasing but a deep-seated belief that I should be able to do everything and accommodate everyone else's needs. Oh, and throw in some fear of missing out on opportunities too - what if I miss the boat? When I want to say no, I can spend hours or even days torturously figuring it if I could actually say yes, even if I know I want to say no.

But this time felt different. I noticed feeling more grounded and centred. Rather than immediately trying to figure out how I could make these requests work, I found myself being curious about how these modifications would feel to me. Could I imagine a working relationship with this person that both honoured my needs and honoured theirs?

Look at me being more discerning! Without consciously thinking about it, I was embodying the Admissions Director and I've been contemplating the power of personas since.

In a world that often encourages us to be authentic and true to ourselves, it may seem contradictory to suggest that being yourself isn't always enough. Let me put it this way. While you are indisputably Enough, you also have habitual patterns that restrict the options you have to respond to the world. By embracing different personas, you can tap into a diverse range of skills, perspectives, and approaches that allow you to navigate various situations with greater flexibility and effectiveness. You're a multifaceted individual capable of embodying different qualities. By doing so, you expand your horizons, overcome challenges, and do things you didn't know you could. So, while being true to yourself is important, I also see the transformative power of exploring different facets of your identity to unleash your full potential.

Now, let's be clear. I'm not advocating for faking it until you make it. Using a persona isn't pretending to be someone you're not and being inauthentic.

Rather, I discovered that adopting this persona invited me into an inquiry. How I would behave if I was an admissions director? What if I explored other roles that embodied the qualities I aspire to have? I'm seeing this inquiry as an opportunity to step out of my habitual patterns and into a new way of being.

What qualities would you like more of? Maybe you'd like to be more discerning about who you work with and what you say yes to. Perhaps you'd like to be more lighthearted or make more prudent financial decisions. Having personas or individuals in mind who possess the qualities you admire can be immensely helpful.

Think about people you know - people in your life, celebrities, job roles, or even fictional characters - who embody the characteristics you would like to cultivate. Imagine how they would respond in the situations you're facing. What would they do? See what shifts. See what new perspectives open up for you.

Play with different personas and roles in your life that can support your growth. Who are the people you look up to? Which qualities or embodiments do they possess that you would like to embrace more fully? Is there a particular role or persona that you believe would enhance your life in some way?

I find simply asking the question is enough to have me start to take on a different embodiment. It's like rummaging around the dressing-up box and trying on someone else's coat. I don't necessarily want to wear it all day every day but it can help me see the world in a different way.

This isn't about performing or pretending. It's about consciously shifting away from your default embodiments and embracing something that feels like a stretch—a stretch that leads you closer to embodying the qualities you desire. Through the power of imagination and taking on a different role, you can wear different personas for those moments when you need to access a different way of being.

The more you embody these qualities, the more natural and authentic they become. Over time, they integrate into your being, allowing you to show up as the best version of yourself in various situations.

Have some fun with it. What would you like a little bit more of in your life and who best represents that quality to you? Who’s coat could you wear for a bit to help you expand your range?