Should I Rest or Push Through? Ask This Instead

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” ~ Viktor E. Frankl

Have you ever found yourself wondering, Should I rest or should I push through? It’s a question I hear a lot, and one I’ve asked myself more times than I can count. But the more I sit with it, the more I think it might be the wrong question altogether.

It’s a classic perfectionist setup, isn’t it? A binary. A trap. You either do nothing at all and fall behind, or you push through everything, ignoring your body and capacity, and end up hurting yourself in the process.

When I’m stuck in that kind of black-and-white thinking, neither option feels good. I’m exhausted and overwhelmed, but I’ve also got responsibilities: things I care about and want to show up for. Doing nothing doesn’t feel realistic, and pushing through everything feels unsustainable.

So lately, I’ve been asking myself a different question: How might I nourish myself to show up in the way I want to for the things that matter to me?

As soon as I ask that, something shifts in my body. There’s a softening. An exhale. Space opens up. I can feel into what might support me in this moment. It invites a kind of creativity and care that doesn’t exist in the either/or.

This has been especially present for me after a big move, and with another one coming up. I don’t have endless energy. I can’t do it all. So I’m asking: What’s important right now? Where do I want to put my time and attention? How do I want to feel as I move through my life?

That question - how might I support myself? - leads to structure, not stress. Possibility, not paralysis. It helps me remember that just because I can’t do everything doesn’t mean I have to collapse into doing nothing. There’s almost always something I can do to move toward the way I want to feel.

And that’s the thing about perfectionist thinking: it sneaks in subtly. Often, we don’t even realise we’re stuck in a binary until we notice how impossible both choices feel. When you hit that wall, when neither option feels right, it might be a sign that the question itself needs to change.

Even when your external choices are limited, A or B, yes or no, you still get to ask, How do I want to be in this? That, to me, is real agency. I may not be able to change the circumstances, but I can choose how I relate to them.

So if you’re stuck in that loop of Should I rest or push through? maybe try this instead:

How might I resource myself to show up for what matters?

Let that question guide you. Let it soften something in you. Let it be a kinder question for challenging and overwhelming times in the polycrisis. And let it remind you that you always have more choice than you think.

I’d love to hear how this lands for you. What shifted in your body as you read this? What becomes possible when you change the question?