How To Get Stuff Done
"I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do." ~ Leonardo da Vinci
One of my perpetual inquiries is how to balance my desire to get stuff done and my desire to stop brutalising myself in order to get there.
It seems that the way I learnt to get stuff done was head down, focus, numb out and keep pushing.
It's been pretty effective at times and yet I am less and less willing to pay the price of this type of productivity: the exhaustion, the overwhelm, the disconnection, the lack of creativity, the feeling of stuckness.
And I'm not the only one. One of the most frequent questions I get asked on my free coaching & market research calls is "how can I still get stuff done and not push myself so hard? How could it feel easeful?"
Here's my answer.
1. What, How and Why
When we think about getting stuff done, it’s easy to start with What we want to do. What we do changes and on its own can lead us to feel unfulfilled by our activity.
Starting with Why taps into our core values and helps build a strong foundation of where we’re going that can weather the inevitable ups and downs of life. When we understand why we're doing something, we feel satisfied when it's completed; it fulfils a need.
In an uncertain world, leading with our needs provides a way for us to navigate with more grace and compassion.
According to Non-Violent Communication, our needs drive our feelings. When our needs are met, we feel good; when they’re not, we experience uncomfortable or difficult emotions. Our feelings then drive our actions. We’re much more likely to snap at a loved one if we’re feeling irritated than when we’re content.
Getting clear on your underlying needs will help you make decisions about what to do and, importantly, how to do it. There are lots of ways to get your needs met; if you’re not clear, you can end up being very busy doing things that aren’t actually meeting your needs.
When your needs are met, you will be more resourced to take action and more willing to meet the challenges of actions that get those needs met.
2. Balance structure and spontaneity
Structure creates safety, predictability and creative constraints. Form reassures my inner perfectionist that this a right and wrong way to do things and I find this calming. Structure is like the banks of a river, harnessing the power of the moving water in a certain direction.
Flow is where the aliveness is; it's the moving water. Flow is spontaneous and unpredictable. It's exciting and creative.
We need both.
Flow without form is unfocused. It never gets around to the hard stuff because there's always something more interesting and fun to do. Flow can be flaky. Ubud is a notoriously flow place; people don't show up at the agreed time or place because "it just wasn't flowing".
Form without flow is rigid and unresponsive. It can become myopic, task-focussed and unfeeling. Form on its own is monotonous and boring.
Form and flow are not an 'either, or'; they are 'both and'.
We need to allow for both structure and spontaneity, holding both as equally important. One way to hold this tension is to be devotional in the time you create for yourself, without committing to a specific task, so your focus is to keep showing up at the same time regardless of the outcomes. Alternatively, commit deeply to a task while allowing yourself the freedom to do it whenever you want.
3. Manage your stress response
Our natural ‘fight-flight’ reaction causes neocortical inhibition and blocks our social engagement system - basically, in the words of my teacher Mark Walsh, we get stupid and mean. When we’re activated like this, we end up with all-or-nothing thinking and primitive - read ineffective - response patterns.
In order to be productive, to be creative, to be authentic and to be in connection with other people, we need to calm our nervous systems down and get out of this reactive cycle. Regulating our nervous systems and resourcing ourselves is how we work sustainably.
4. Do things at their 'right' time
We live in a world that tells us life is a linear process. It is, in fact, cyclical.
Cyclical living is simply the practice of finding alignment with the cycles and rhythms that are present in our lives. It could be living in accordance with the natural cycles in and around us like the seasons, the Moon, your menstrual cycle, or your circadian rhythm. It could also be applying the principles of cycles to a project, a meeting, or how you plan activities in your work as you follow the creative cycle.
Purpose and Planning (Spring - Beginnings) – An emergent time of exploration that is great for getting creative and starting new projects. Brainstorm, set goals and let your imagination fly.
Connect and Create (Summer - Doing) – Full bloom, this is the time for being your most socially outgoing and getting things done. Dedicate your energy to the things that matter most to you - projects, people and play.
Contain and Complete (Autumn - Endings) – A powerful transition phase where we seek completion. A time to take pleasure in finishing things off and start to slow down.
Reflect and Restore (Winter - Not Doing) – A time for rest perfect for reflection, learning and consolidating all we have achieved. Without this vital phase, we can take on too much, push too hard missing opportunities for our next phase of growth.
5. Learn to listen to your inner critic
The inner critic's natural home is the autumn of any cycle. At Red School, this phase is called 'discernment'. It's the phase to look objectively at what's not working and to let go of what it is no longer serving you.
This is the inner critic's super-power!
Unfortunately, that super-power is often an overdeveloped strength for many perfectionists and so the inner critic shows up at the wrong time, ripping our dreams to shreds, stopping us creating, or guilt-tripping us about taking time off.
You need to develop strong boundaries with your inner critic to put it back in its natural home. At the same time, you need to learn to listen to it in that phase of the creative cycle so you can reap its wisdom.
6. Celebrate what you did do
Someone was telling me about The Gap and The Gain (by Dan Sullivan) recently. The basic premise, as I understand it having not read the book, is we're unhappy because we're too focused on the shortfall between where we are and where we want to be. So it follows that we'd be happier if we instead focused on measuring ourselves against our previous selves - the Gain.
On one hand, this makes a lot of sense to me. I, for one, am constantly moving the goalposts on myself so focusing on the gaps is a never-ending source of not-enoughness. But the continual focus on gains and improvement feels just as exhausting with its not-so-subtle message, "you need to always be better than before".
Bullshit. You don't need to be better. Instead, I believe in the power of celebrating your achievements, no matter how small.
When I worked for an international development company, I was responsible for people in some pretty dangerous, inhospitable places and I would celebrate a good day as one when nobody died. That was my bar for a good day.
My favourite tool for this is a ta-dah list. Simply put, at the end of the day or week, write a list of everything you did even if those things weren't on your to-do list. It's a great way to feel satisfied about what you are accomplishing. And satisfaction is a great fuel for momentum.
Put it into action
I'd be surprised if anything I've just told you is something you've never heard before (especially if you've been hanging out with me for a while - I'm a broken record!). But maybe you're still finding yourself stuck in old patterns of feeling stressed out, procrastinating or pushing yourself to the brink of exhaustion. That's because knowing something intellectually and embodying it are two very different things - like knowing how to ride a bike because you read a book about it and actually being able to ride a bike.
Take a moment to commit to one way you could embody this knowledge today. What small action or 1% shift could you make?
And if you’re bored of finding yourself in the same old patterns, find out when the next round of Get It Done: A Perfectionist’s Guide to Getting Unstuck and Finding Flow starts.