Help When You’re Struggling to Focus
Do you ever have days when you just can’t seem to focus? When your brain is foggy and you can’t settle properly? You’re distracted and your inner critic is tearing everything to shreds.
Me too. I’ve tried to write this so many times today that I've lost count.
I think we all have days like this so next time you are, here are 6 ways to get your focus back.
Take a break. Don't keep bashing your head on the laptop. Put on some music and have a dance. Get outside for a walk. Move your body. Have a nap. If you can, take the whole day off. At a minimum, look away from the screen, take 3 easy breaths and think of someone or something that makes your heart smile (as Paul Linden likes to say). Don't, please don't sit there brutalising yourself.
Get curious. Bringing some awareness and understanding to why are you struggling is the key to creating choice for yourself. I love this 2 models for a quick way to check in with myself.
HALT. This one is from the 12 Steps programme and asks us to stop and notice if we're Hungry, Anxious, Lonely or Tired. If so, fix that before doing anything else.
DUST. From Graham Alcott, we procrastinate when things are Difficult, Unclear, Scary or Tedious.
Make friends with your inner critic. These types of days are more common for me in the 3-5 days before my period starts, especially at a time when I'm busy or already a bit stressed (hello lockdown), when my inner critic can go at me with both barrels. This is a topic in its own right so here are a few ideas I've shared previously.
Change your embodiment. Our external and internal worlds are entwined. How we are on the inside is manifest in how we are on the outside and vice versa. The great news is that it's much easier to change the outside, how you're holding your body, than it is to change the inside. It's so much more tangible. So here's a way of finding some more focus. Engage more of your forward fire by leaning slightly forwards in your chair. Take 2 or 3 breaths into your chest, pushing and pulling the air. Focus your gaze on a single point. Feel the tone of your muscles and the heat and movement in your body - can you sense your heart beating in your chest? What would it feel like to be a little more triangular? Ask yourself “what needs to be done?".
Focus on the feelings. How would you like to feel doing this task? Take 3 easy breaths, intentionally relaxing your eyes, your jaw, your shoulders & your belly. What would it be like to be 5% more of that? And see what comes up - trust the first answer is the right answer. Maybe there's a tangible, practical thing you could do or maybe the question itself helps access the embodiment of that feeling. (A technique from Wendy Palmer.)
From one recovering perfectionist to another, don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Do the shitty first draft. Accept that this is not going to be your finest hour. Do the minimum that is actually required right now - not your best, the minimum. Then find a way to celebrate it - whatever you did. Celebrate the fact you took a break and were kind to yourself. Celebrate ticking that job off the list. Celebrate the fact you are alive and have something you care about. Write yourself a 'Done' List (an after-the-fact to-do list, if you like - you'll be surprised at how much you have done even on a 'bad' day) or try focusing on 3 Good Things that happened today.
And if you need to hear it today, you are awesome. Whether or not you have smashed your to-do list. The fate of the world is not dependent on you completing this task today - my experience in several war zones is that focus was never a problem when there really were lives on the line. It's all okay. You're human and perfectly imperfect. You'll be here tomorrow. Your energy, your focus, your creativity, it's all still there - trust me, this is all part of the cycle (whether we like it or not).