Clarity is a Process Not a Destination

"Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it." ~ Greg Anderson

Have you ever found yourself desperately seeking clarity in the chaos of life?

What if I told you that clarity isn't a fixed destination but a dynamic, continuous journey?

Picture it as a dance, a process that unfolds and evolves with us, rather than a place where we plant a flag and declare victory.

The Quest for Certainty

In our ever-changing world, the pursuit of certainty and clarity is a common thread, especially among recovering perfectionists and control freaks. We yearn to unravel life's purpose and find answers to our burning questions, envisioning these aspirations as destinations we hope to reach. It's entirely understandable; in a world filled with uncertainty, the desire for a clear, unchanging endpoint is only human.

During a recent coaching session, a client expressed the familiar desire for clear answers and a definitive path forward. I found myself responding "What if clarity is a process rather than a destination?" The pressure to have all the answers and confidently declare, "I am clear, and life is good," is immense. However, clarity isn't a static place we arrive at; it's a continuous journey. Life is in constant flux, and the clarity we seek today may evolve or even dissipate tomorrow.

Clarity As a Verb

Think of clarity as a verb—an active engagement with the idea of clarity, a continuous dialogue rather than a pursuit of a conclusive answer. As I reflect on this, I find comfort in the notion that clarity is something we do, a state of being rather than a place we arrive at. It's about being in dialogue, exploring, and embracing the process of clarity rather than fixating on a fixed outcome.

Even as I'm sharing these thoughts with you, I'm struck that I am actively participating in the inquiry, in the dialogue with this idea. There's something alive in this process, something that transcends the need for a rigid, fixed answer.

And it goes beyond the quest for clarity. The tendency to rush towards the finish line, to achieve and accomplish, is a familiar urge for perfectionists. But the completion we're seeking isn't real. Something that is complete is stagnant. It's no longer alive. The only things that are finished are dead.

What Am I Doing With My Life?

Me and my team in Dhaka, Bangladesh, in 2015

The quest for certainty as a destination reminds me of my time volunteering in Bangladesh. I was the Team Leader for a group of youth volunteers - all aged 18-25 and all with the question of what they were going to do with their lives. Part of my role was to be their mentor and coach, alongside managing the project we were working on to create more employment opportunities for the young women in the rural community we were based in.

The irony was I was 32, had just left a 10-year career in the Royal Air Force and was asking myself the very same question. I'm now 40 and those questions haven't gone away and I'm starting to suspect they never will. Maybe, these questions are not meant to have finite, concrete answers. Maybe the point of life is to be in relationship with the inquiries.

The Destination is Missing the Point

As I've been reflecting on this, I'm reminded of some wise words from Alan Watts

“We thought of life by analogy with a journey, a pilgrimage, which had a serious purpose at the end, and the thing was to get to that end, success or whatever it is, maybe heaven after you’re dead. But we missed the point the whole way along. It was a musical thing and you were supposed to sing or to dance while the music was being played.” ~ Alan Watts

Could clarity be about enjoying the journey, being inquisitive, and alleviating the pressure to declare, "I've arrived"?

Life's journey is dynamic, and finding clarity may be more about embracing the ongoing inquiry than reaching a final destination. As we dance through the music of life, let's release the pressure to get somewhere and instead be more curious about the inquiries we're in. I'm here, not as someone with all the answers, but as a fellow explorer seeking your input. What are your thoughts on this perspective? How does it resonate with your experiences? Let's continue this conversation and discover the beauty in the ongoing pursuit of clarity.