Start With Why
“Regardless of WHAT we do in our lives, our WHY—our driving purpose, cause or belief—never changes.” ~ Simon Sinek
When we think about getting stuff done, it’s easy to start with What we want to do. What we do, on its own, can lead us to feel unfulfilled by our activity.
Image Credit: Authentic Relating Training International
Starting with Why taps into our core values and helps build a strong foundation of where we’re going that can weather the inevitable ups and downs of life.
What
What is visible to us and to others. What we do changes depending on the projects we’re working on. It’s the tasks we go about every day.
If we only pay attention to What we do, we can quickly become busy and overwhelmed, like the proverbial hamster on its wheel. If What we do isn’t connected to our How and our Why, we can end up procrastinating because we’ve lost connection with the activity’s purpose and meaning.
How
“Love is a verb, it is an action. You must do things for [life], listen to her, be there for her. It’s not about what happens in return but what you do to love [life].” ~ Stephen Covey
How we go about things is the structure that connects our Why to our What. Without a How, our Why can't generate any traction. How is our Why in action. It brings our What to life.
How starts with 1% shifts. How could you bring 1% more of your Why into an activity?
Why
Our Why is our motivation to do anything in the world.
You can think of this as your Values, your Calling, or your Inner Needs. I believe those are all expressions of the same inherent Why.
These go beyond the basic needs we all have as human beings. Meeting our basic needs of food, water, shelter, rest, safety and belonging means we survive. Regularly fulfilling our Why means we thrive.
"NVC suggests behind every action, however ineffective, tragic, violent, or abhorrent to us, is an attempt to meet a need." ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg
When we are able to articulate our Why, three things happen:
It's easier to prioritise because we can more clearly see which activities are aligned with our Why and energise us and which ones drain us.
We can better align non-negotiable tasks with our Why by asking How we want to feel and behave in a task in accordance with our Why.
Our Why feels more fulfilling and satisfying by more intentionally acting from it.
I'd like to share one exercise to help you articulate your Why.
You can do this on your own, either journaling or recording a voice note, or ask a friend to listen to you.
Pick a goal, a desire or a project you care about.
Ask yourself "Why do you want this? What does this give you?" and note down your answer.
Ask yourself the question again. "And why do you want this? What does this give you?" and record your answer.
Keep repeating this cycle for at least 3 minutes if you're speaking or 5 minutes if you're writing.
If you have time, go through the process with at least 2 more goals from different areas of your life to build up a more complete picture of your Why.
I'd love to hear what you come up with and if you have any questions.